brokenpurplecrayon

This morning was a GodLight kind of morning. You’ve seen GodLight – when the sun streams down through a bank of clouds or the branches of a thick canopy of trees… each ray a finger of brilliance reaching down to tickle the ground with golden light. I’ve loved GodLight since I was a small child. I believed it was a visual manifestation of God’s actual love – something he was giving me to make sure I knew it would all be ok. Over the years, my concept and understanding of God has grown, changed, and dare I say, evolved, but GodLight remains. The peace and love and beauty of those golden rays illuminating their path, ever gently from the sky, still fills my heart every time I am blessed to witness them.

I believe there are people in our lives who serve the same purpose. They bring a little GodLight into our lives and hearts by their mere presence. Their love sheds light on new parts of ourselves, encouraging us to grow, and see the beauty that may have become hidden by shadows.

It was a Godlight kind of morning.

have you watched the Olympics this year?  there’s a new sport called Ski Cross.  it’s basically a combination of moto-cross and downhill skiing.  you’re competing against three other people over bumps, peaks, hills, jumps, curves, etc on skis… the main compelling force being gravity.  if you want to be successful, you not only give in to gravity, but you join forces with it in a big way.  gravity becomes your ally – you sink down into its pull and allow it to help you sail over obstacles. but you have to be respectful & not give it full control as it pulls you into turns & dangerously off course.  so it’s a balancing act between submitting fully and gratefully to this ever present force and gently resisting it to remain on track. 

yep.  kinda like life.  i had a ski cross kind of day today.

it’s a good thing.

Sitting on the couch, debating whether or not to get up and take a shower now or eat some breakfast first.  Sweetie just bolted out the door, late to some breakfast meeting.  The dogs are eyeing me expectantly with stuffed toys in their jaws. The house is quiet except for the ticking of puppy nails on the hardwood floor and the steady drone of the living room light timer. I know I’ll be at work until 9:00pm tonight so I’m not in any particular hurry to disturb this moment of morning solitude.

I’ve been pondering an interesting theory on the nature of love. I have decided, that on the days I have woken up and felt completely fulfilled with love and joy and peace, those are the days that someone who loves me has been sending loving thoughts to me.  They top off my tanks & I spend the entire day sharing that love around.  The days I wake up feeling drained and empty are the days that I’ve sent out all my love & need a refill.  Maybe we should all have gauges like our cars – indicating whether we’re Empty or Full.  Then, like my father always advised, we’d never let our tanks get lower than Halfway.

I haven’t really full blown cried in quite some time. I can’t even remember the last time I cried fully and with abandon. But tonight I had a huge release. I think, maybe, it had been building up for a while now.

My cat, Puddy, sneaks out into the living room after the dogs have been put to bed. I noticed, tonight that she needed her nails clipped. I usually do it in the bedroom, her domain, where she feels safe. I didn’t really think twice about being in the living room, but something must have spooked her (the tiniest of noises will send her running back to her lair) and I felt her back claws whip up and into my flesh. As she dropped, now free to escape, I lost it completely. (The blood helped my release, I’m sure, as well as the fear & pain.)

I try to recognize and appreciate the opportunities the universe gives me to learn and grow, but in this case, I really wish my face had been spared from this lesson. I’m worried I will have a scar from this much needed catharsis.

It was a u-pick kind of day today. Originally, I had planned to surprise Cor with a morning of u-pick strawberries at a local farm (Bedner’s), but our recent rain and cold front did a number on the little berry plants, and so they were off limits. We didn’t find that out until we were already at the farm, so we opted to pick vine ripe tomatoes and peppers instead!

From there, we headed to another local u-pick (The Girls) and loaded up on fresh greens and zucchini flowers! (Their strawberries had taken a hit as well.) Our haul from the second market would have easily cost $10+ at the local farmer’s market, but we paid less than $2 by picking it ourselves. Yummy organic produce at cost!

Our last u-pick of the day was rather unconventional. We stopped at Total Wine & Spirits and browsed the imported beer aisle & ‘picked’ our own six pack! Cor suggested we put the in the RV as an adventure in tasting when we go to MARS for Miss Trailer Trash weekend! Marvelous!

We also stopped by The Boys Market & picked up some New Year’s noshes and had half priced drinks from Sonic. It was one of the lovliest date days.

This evening sees Cor saving the Universe by playing the latest Ratchet & Clank and I finished reading The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett (excellent read – I highly recommend it). Tommorow I must tackle my grading and other classwork in earnest and start de-christmasing the house and yard.