for your amusement
as told to me today* by one of my kids – age 15
three intrepid explorers set off into the rainforest, seeking treasures and fame. not long into their journey, they are captured by a tribe of cannibals. they beg and plead for a chance to save their lives.
the chief takes mercy on them and tells them to go pick three pieces of the fruit of their choice from the forest and return to him for a chance to live.
the first explorer returns with three plums. the chief says “If you can insert all three of your pieces of fruit into your ass, without making a sound, you may live.” the guy makes a brave attempt but he can’t even get one piece in before he squeaks in discomfort. the tribe eats him.
the second explorer returns with three blueberries. the chief offers him the same opportunity. embarassed and humiliated, the explorer has two berries inserted and is about to go for the third when he suddenly starts howling in laughter.
the first and second explorers meet up in heaven and the first explorer asks the second, “Hey, I was watching you down there – you had blueberries! you already had two berries in and were about to win your freedom! What happened?” the second explorer responds, “I know, but I couldn’t help myself. I looked up and saw the third guy coming up the path with pineapples.”
*with obvious embellishments and flourishes, for the sake of the humor and telling.
