brokenpurplecrayon

4am is never a good time to wake up (in my book) unless you are headed for the airport on some grand adventure. waking up angry and frustrated about a situation you have little (to no) control over is even worse. i guess i needed this time to get my head and my heart right before trying to deal with anything. i think my current life lesson is “how to balance compassion and understanding while still setting good boundaries”. i’m not yet doing so well on the boundaries bit. but i’m trying.

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today’s horoscope tells me to restrain some of my impulsivity and that i might be faced with a power struggle in the workplace. tomorrow warns me that others will be looking out for themselves and that i should protect myself. i feel a slippery slope approaching. (and to add the cherry on top, my hormones are gearing up for that special time of stress and irritability!)

funny how i’m becoming more and more aware of the cycle my body goes through. i was never this aware of things when i was a teenager, and all through my 20s i took the pills to control (or eliminate) things. now that it’s just me and my hormones, i really notice the changes and how i respond to them.

**

one of the nice things about being up this early is that plug kitty is a little lover in the quiet dark hours. she’ll climb up on my lap, try to head butt me from the back of the couch, and let me squoosh and face mash her while she purrs up a storm. she’s such a bizarre little cat most of the time – but night time (or early morning) she’s a little love. i have caught her asleep on me in the middle of the night when i come out and crash on the futon because i can’t sleep for whatever reason. her favorite nighttime activity is to follow me into the bathroom and bite my toes while i pee. this is a source of much joy for her. especially when i try to hide my toes.

as i type this, puddy has usurped plug in the love fest. puddy is definitely *my* baby. she claims firstborn status as often as possible and practically dares plug to try to take her “mommy” away from her. in her defense, she will share food and space with plug pretty civilly – until plug tries to play. that’s when puddy hisses and it’s all over. there’s that 7 year age difference.

**

2 hours since i climbed out of bed. i have checked email, read blogs, smiled at comics, played on facebook, snuggled kitties, drank avena (colombian oatmeal drink – very yummy), gone through a rainbow of emotions, dumped my brain here, tweaked my website (i changed the theme), did some random internet surfing, and tried to take deep breaths. i think i’ll go curl up on the futon with the cats and see if i can keep the serenity for an hour or so. then i’ll get up and face this day.

.:{brokenpurplecrayon}:.