Attitude of Gratitude

Wednesday, 25 June 2014, 20:02 | Category : gratitude, health
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Today is day 10 of my 28 day medical leave.  My lower back had been hurting on and off for a couple of years – sometimes it would flare up badly and I had difficulty even walking. I was going to a chiropractor and he encouraged me to get another MRI. I had one 2 years ago and had a small bulging disc. The most recent MRI showed 3 fully herniated discs, two with small extrusions. (Basically, the jelly had squished out of the donut and was starting to travel.)

My doctor prescribed physical therapy, restricted sitting/driving, and unofficial orders to focus on losing weight, strengthening my core muscles, and to get myself healthy and strong again.  So that’s what I have been doing. Every day.

I go to physical therapy and get my new exercises for the week. I go to the gym and do the low impact workout classes and have begun using the weight machines on low weight settings. I stretch every day. I try to swim at least 3 days a week – in the high school pool or the lake. I meditate. I attend a tai chi class on Wednesdays.

I still teach, so there is some time spent in a chair in front of a computer – like today. It doesn’t take long for my tailbone to tighten up and my spine to get inflamed again. I have to remember to get up and stretch and walk to loosen everything back up.

So the attitude of gratitude post idea came when I opened up Mindbloom.com after about 2 years of not playing it (it’s a nifty little game to remind you to take care of the important things in your life).  Two of my daily tasks were to keep a gratitude journal & to  journal my thoughts/feelings.

2013-03-28-032713_gratitude

I am trying to recondition my mind during this time away to stay focused on my core values. I had them paired down to two main ones: authenticity and love, but I’m adding gratitude – because it really is important, I believe, to remember to be grateful for everything I have and everything that is coming my direction.

I am grateful for the little park and beach on the lake a couple of miles from our house. There’s a nice sandy swimming area and the weather has been beautiful. I’ve had a lovely time floating and stretching and swimming. I love watching the kids (and sometimes the adults) jumping off the boat dock (despite the signs telling them not to). I love watching the fish swim by in the water. I love the sun and the clouds and the waves. I love the warm water and the weird cold spots that drift by your legs as the current flows.

masks

Sunday, 30 March 2014, 19:45 | Category : personal growth
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How many masks do you wear?

Do you wear a mask at work? The Professional…

Do you wear a mask with your friends? The Happy One…

Do you wear a mask with your loved ones? The Reliable One…

But who are you underneath all of these masks? The Authentic You.

I’ve been wondering lately how much of my authentic self shows from beneath the masks I wear. I know some people see it – I can tell by how they respond to me.  Sometimes I think I’m showing my authentic self to someone but I realize later it was just another mask.

I’m not sure I know who the authentic me is without masks…

First day of spring

Thursday, 20 March 2014, 9:50 | Category : personal growth
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Today is the first day of spring. I made a commitment to myself to give myself some space from social media. The point of that commitment was to give myself space to take care of myself during a stressful situation and those I love.

Yesterday I had a really clear message that I need to make this space a larger priority.  I have felt, for quite a while, that I have a habit of pouring more of myself into some relationships than I receive in return. To my mind, this statement sounds incredibly selfish… but maybe that’s where I am and I need to honor it.

I need to focus on me. I need to conserve my energy. I am in a very low place & feeling quite alone. So I am going to nurture the love I have inside until it grows large enough to share again.

Spring is the season of growth and rebirth.

mirror mirror on the wall….

Monday, 17 March 2014, 20:49 | Category : random thoughts
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It never fails to astound me when people respond with malice and hate. What’s the point of expending energy on such a harmful (to the one sending it) activity?   Even worse than run of the mill hate is hate couched in “godliness.”  You cannot – I repeat, can NOT, embody love by sending anyone hate.

In the past two days, I have been sent messages that I am a “horrible human being” and that I am “not of God” and something about being cast out into the mysterious unknown. I assume they meant to say that I wasn’t worthy of God’s presence.   What did I do to deserve such aspersions?  The first one received a grade they didn’t agree with and the second was on the receiving end of a question from me about whether or not they reviewed the same restaurant I ate at (because they brought up sushi & I didn’t remember it being on the menu).   Yep. These are the reasons people chose to spew venom and hate.

I don’t know what about my nature and being triggers such intense reactions in you two people, but I hope you find some way to accept that part of yourself that you find so repugnant in me.

Breathe

Monday, 10 March 2014, 22:10 | Category : Uncategorized
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image

I had too many moments today that made me frustrated. Instead of rehashing or over-thinking them, I present you with this sunflower from our backyard.