teacher, teach thyself!
A lot has been happening in the past few weeks. I hesitate to say “to me” because that puts control of my life outside my grasp. I’ve had the “opportunity” to gain some insight into other people’s thoughts and perceptions of me. I say opportunity tongue in cheek because while I’m privvy to their opinion of me (at least in that moment) I was reminded that everyone’s opinion and action is a reflection of their own “stuff” by an email program I signed up for – the first week’s lesson was about curbing gossip and why you shouldn’t take it personally. (Which, of course, brings me right back to my favorite life lesson book – The Four Agreements.)
So emotionally and mentally, I’m caught up in this bit of drama and trying to sort it out – how I feel, whether or not there is anything I should learn from this lesson (ie: is there any truth in what they said and is it something I should work on), and do other people think the same thing… (insert more drama here). Then my back starts acting up with a vengeance. So now I’m in physical pain as well. And quickly turning into a bitch (sorry Sweetie).
Last night, I’m decked out on the guest bed, propped up with pillows, muscle relaxers have taken away the edge of the pain, and I’m teaching class. Class was about patterns of thinking, reframing negative patterns, how to focus on a client’s strengths, identifying blind spots, and setting goals. I like to share with them that, while some people can set a huge goal & achieve it all in one fell swoop – like quitting a habit cold turkey or starting a new one immediately – most of us are gradual creatures that take time – sometimes a lot more time than we would first imagine. I tell them the story of when I tried to go vegetarian in my Junior year of college and ended up in the ER because my digestive system effectively shut down due to the drastic and immediate change I forced upon it. They laugh, but they get the picture.
I’ve been working for years on the ideas in the Four Agreements.
(from toltecspirit.com)
The Four Agreements are:
1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.
2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
I try to recognize when my best isn’t as strong – like when I’m in pain or processing something. I know lately my best has been pretty low and I sometimes haven’t been reaching even that. But if I can teach my students to be gentle with their clients and themselves – if I can instruct them to focus on the strengths and build clients up – empowering them – then how can I not remember to live it?
I needed last night’s class. I needed it for me. Some of the students told me how relevant the lesson was for them in their own personal lives and like I remind them so often – if you aren’t seeing the lessons you learn in school manifesting in your personal life first, how can you expect to help manifest them in someone else’s life? Put it into practice before you try to use it on someone else.
I should take my class sometime.
